Guess who’s back on the motha-f’n blog, with a crap load of content and three kiddies for your mouth. Okay, so that didn’t make sense but it has been playing over and over in my head for weeks.
I’m back and according to the awesome custom illustration made for me by Michelle Baron, I grew a couple of inches and lost 50lbs. One can dream! It has been so hard to get back into the blogesphere but alas, here I am and feel more powerful than ever because now I have a penis, well a son with a penis who has thrown this tutu wearing mama into a legit frenzy. Like, did you know that testicles become saggy and just stick to a man? Well, they do and it is super gross. I don’t care if he reads this one day, I’m the one that had to peel them back. Whatever.
A few updates, my daughters are now in elementary school (Kindergarten and first grade). They’ve learned so much! Twerking being one of those things. (I really wish I was kidding) As well as stuffing their bathing suits with socks before going to swimming class because apparantely, that’s the dealio that is going around the Kindergarten classroom. If you are thinking, FML, then you are right. Warning to all toddler parents out there, treasure the terrible twos because once your child starts school, they will learn things that you can not even fathom.
Stick around and stay tuned, check out my Facebook page, Twitter and Instagram and if you really really really want to make me happy, follow and “like” me while you’re at it. There are a lot of new things happening on my blog besides the new look created by EMR Studios. There will be fun giveaways and a ton of candid posts about my wonderful life as a minivan driving, extra-curricular activity going, daughter and son having mom.