The end of the school year is approaching (or has approached already for some) and with that comes awards season. It isn’t like it was when I was a kid where awards were based on academics, now everyone in the classroom gets an award of some sort. I think it’s a cute idea for primary school but I am hoping this ends when middle school and high school come around.
Here are the worst awards a child can receive:
1. “Most Spirited Child”
This basically means your kid was an a-hole all year.
2. “Most Outgoing”
This means that your kid would not shut the hell up. All…. Year…. Long…. (This is my child btw)
3. “The Handy Award”
This means your kid used to randomly trip other kids.
4. “Most interesting”
This means your kid asked dumb questions (because we all know that dumb questions exist) that made their teacher text all her friends and laugh at your son/daughter.
5. “Most Cheerful”
Your son or daughter is on their way to being the next big thing on SNL! Embrace it! I know, this one isn’t so bad.
6. “Most Talented”
I remember when this award used to mean something but now, it basically means the kid that goes to school in pajamas on Monday, a Spiderman Costume on Tuesday and a tutu on Wednesday.
6. “The Participation Award”
Ummm… So your kid is going places. He isn’t a winner and he probably won’t make it to college but he’s going somewhere.
7. “Self-Posessed Award”
Oh yeah… You know where I’m getting at. Your kid was in the “meditation chair” more than her own desk.
8. “School Spirit” (Again, my child)
This kid LOVES school, loves homework and over does it when the teacher announces a pop quiz. I’m so sorry Sophia… You will learn to keep your excitement on the inside one day.
9. “Perfect attendance”
So, you’re the mother who sent her sick kid to school and had my entire family dropping like flies. This should also be paired with, “Mother of the Year” award.
10. Let me know what silly awards you have heard of lately!