How to book a quiet flight

airplanes-work-1Prepare to be amazed! Do you want to know how NOT to book a flight and be near a screaming child? WELL! Here’s a tip for you! Book a charter! Fly Private! Other than that, have a seat and shut the hell up.
On my way to San Jose, CA I was on a 5 hour very bumpy flight. The entire flight had turbulence, it was horrible. I had my barf bag ready for whatever demon wanted to exit my body but then, it all went away because a jerk who was seated a row ahead of me was complaining about a baby who was also uncomfortable and of course crying.
It is not because I’m a mother, I have always had an understanding that no human being would actually enjoy having their child cry anywhere, let alone a place as confined as an airplane. I became the advocate for those mothers and fathers a long time ago, WAY WAY before I ever had children because those people who turn their noses up and feel the need to say something to the already humiliated parent, annoy the ish out of me.
I’m sure that every adult in the world started off as a baby. Why complain? These people aren’t rude, in fact they have paid more to fly than you have. You know what is rude? Laying a huge fart while someone is behind you (happened to me)… You know what else is really rude? Reclining your chair all the way back and not being considerate to the person sitting behind you or sitting beside two ADULTS who are having a heavy make out session (also has happened to me). THAT is rude but to complain, shout, suck your teeth at a parent who is already struggling to shut this kid up is just being a true a-hole.
You might think this is something that has personally happened to me, someone telling me to shut my kids up but it hasn’t. Not yet. I guess I never put that Karma out there as a single person without children. I never complained about children. I just knew that they were just that, children. So thankfully and I praise all Gods in the world, my kids have SO FAR been pretty quiet on flights and no one has had to call the po-po on me or kick me off a flight for arguing with a jerk that complains about my kids. Thank you sweet baby Jesus because God knows that Orange is not my color, not even if it is the new black.


  1. I get livid at people who freak out about children being children, I suppose that when they were children they never went anywhere. Yeah, right

    So nice to meet you at BlogHer and I wish you much continued blogging success.

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