My baby is now full term!

c/o BabyCenter

Image c/o BabyCenter

Well, that stung a little.  I was pregnant earlier this year and my pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage which also resulted in the removal of my right fallopian tube and ovary.  Which then resulted in a week of Percocets, Orange is the New Black, Scandal and milkshakes (thanks Susie).  I know, the baby was only 10 weeks and God won’t give me anything that I can’t handle and there was obviously something wrong with the pregnancy to start with but none of those things make it hurt any less.
This is not the first time I have had a miscarriage.  It’s never easy.  I don’t talk about it because when you don’t talk about things, people don’t ask you questions.  Questions bring up a deep sadness that is hidden somewhere under the Nordstrom Anniversary sale and hunting for a chair at Home Goods.  Then when everything goes silent and you are caught up on your Bravo line up on the DVR and you see an e-mail pop up from Baby Center that says that you are now 37 weeks pregnant and that your baby is now full term, it stings.
You may be asking yourself, “Well, why the hell didn’t she stop notifications?”.  Well, I never thought about it since the emails have always come through a shared family address where my husband gets to things first and deletes, deletes, deletes.  I have convinced myself that this is just my path and it was supposed to happen this way.  How would I have had the amazing opportunities to participate in events such as Blogger Bash or travel all the way to San Jose, CA to go to Blogher.  There is no way I would have made it while being pregnant because my pregnancies are not only very complicated but not cute.  You see those cute pregnant women that everyone loves?  Yeah, that’s not me.  I would be lying to you if there haven’t been multiple times that my brother sends me a picture of Kim Kardashian pregnant with North and I truly believe it is me for like 5, maybe 10 seconds.  Not saying that she wasn’t cute but she wasn’t, KIM KARDASHIAN.
While tonight brought up a ton of emotions and I secretly (or not so secretly) want to karate chop my husband on his throat for snoring through my hysteria, I am thankful.  I am thankful that my best friend has allowed me to stalk her pregnancy and allowed me to have a strong influence in her new baby girl’s nursery, attire, even down to her name.  This is her first baby girl, something she has dreamt of since she was 17 and she has been totally okay with sharing her experience with me.  It’s like becoming the best kind of mom.  The one that doesn’t have to deal with sciatica, a swollen VJJ, weight gain and all the other wonderful things that come with pregnancy for us not so fortunate or cute moms.  I am so thankful.  So incredibly thankful.  Thank you friend.  Thank you so much.

Comments

  1. Hugs to you. I know all to well what all that feels like. So glad you had an awesome friend through all of that. I know that helped so much.

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