Bend over, here come the fundraisers!

kazooIt’s that time of year again!  The time of year where your child’s school or team asks you to sell overpriced chocolate in a can in exchange for a kazoo!  What?  You don’t think a kazoo is worth selling $75 worth of canned chocolate?  Blasphemy!
I understand that these sales help the organizations but seriously? A pocket calendar?    Do I really have to be annoying and ask my family and friends to buy overpriced gift wrapping paper?  Do I have to get myself pumped by repeating the fundraising mantra?  (“Kazoos are for closers… Kazoos are for closers.”)  Do I really have to work on my sales pitch?  “Hey Friends!  Did you love dinner?  Well, if you loved dinner, you are going to LOVE this gift wrapping paper that Sophia is selling!”  Or your colleagues!  Your poor work colleagues are currently trying to avoid your desk like the plague because they know… They all know that sooner or later they are going to return from a bathroom break to find a catalog on their desk with a little post it note on it that says, “Anything helps :)”.  They don’t want to buy stuff from you!  No one does!
I remember when I was a child and being so upset that I did not get the giant stuffed animal when prize time came in school.  If only my mom had ordered $100 worth of gummy bears!  The shame!  The shame!
If you are anything like I am and hate asking people to purchase mechanical pencils with kittens printed all over them, know that you can go straight to the source and donate the money directly to your group.  By going directly to the source, you eliminate having to bend over and grab your ankles in order to “win” a giant stuffed animal that will scare the crap out of you when you go into your child’s bedroom in the dark.  Win, win guys… Win, win.

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