Undomesticated lady

Favim.com-14301Move to New Jersey, check.  Drive a minivan, check.  Shrink clothes in the washer machine, check.

I come from a line of un-domesticated women.  I am not ashamed.  The first time I did my own laundry I was 22 years old and living at off campus housing.  I made the laundry room look like a foam party.  I was very ashamed.  Now I am a mother, wife and complete adult and I just learned that there are different types of brooms.  There are wide angle brooms, witch type of brooms, the type of brooms that look like a big piece of cloth, some come with plastic handles while others have wooden handles.  The struggle to choose the right broom is real.  I have also learned that grout has to be scrubbed, like you have a tiled kitchen or bathroom you have to get on your hands and knees like Cinderella to scrub the grout on the floor.  Hands and knees!  I have youtubed how to clean a bathtub, how to maintain wooden floors and finally, how to wash clothes sans foam party.  In turn my cleaning adventures have led my entire family to take a shower at my mother’s house for 3 days because I put way too much soap in the bathtub and I couldn’t really finish because I am allergic to the cleaning products and not only were my eyes kind of on fire but my fingers became super swollen.  Like, nutty professor swollen.  I have used the wrong cleaner for wooden floors where my living room was more like an obstacle course, everyone was slipping and sliding everywhere (Whoops!).  I have turned white clothes gray, shrunken (many) sweaters and have completely given up on figuring out where the F all the socks go.  WHERE ARE THEY?!

I have broken down and cried for feeling less than because of my domestic handicaps but F that.  So I’m not domestic and have to google how to clean, so what?  It’s not my thing and not only that but I’m allergic to cleaning products.  AMEN!  I believe in signs and I believe that my series of unfortunate domestic events have all been sweet baby Jesus’s way of telling me that I need a weekly maid service desperately.  I am not ashamed.

Comments

  1. Right there with ya my fellow un-domestic goddess! Although, I will be knocking out a rocking apple pie soon.

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