I might have lied to my children and told them I was an animal activist in order to not have to sit through the circus. The truth is, I cannot handle the experience. Who is REALLY behind that clown make up? Do clowns contour? How cool is that tiger with having motorcycles riding around it? And the anxiety I experience during the tightrope act is real. Why isn’t there a guy selling cocktails in those obnoxious snow cone cups? Now that, that would be amazing. My mind goes on… Where do these people live? Is there really a camp of little tents somewhere behind this arena like in the movies?
Then the vendors start circling around. “Popcorn! Get your popcorn here!” Ooohhh, popcorn. My kids love popcorn and if they have popcorn, they will stop fighting. “Here sir! Popcorn here!” Once the vendor approaches, we realize that the obnoxiously sized popcorn comes along with a souvenir hat. A souvenir hat that is only available if you purchase a popcorn. You cannot purchase it separately so of course, it’s the circus and you can’t say no at the circus. Well, at least I can’t say no at the circus. It’s like taking me to a Nordstrom shoe sale and saying I can only have 1 pair. It’s abusive. So now you are 2 ginormous popcorns deep into the circus and along with the popcorn, you must have a snow cone. A snow cone that you know your children hate but it comes in a pony cup and they are convincing you that they will like this snow cone because it is different. It is in a pony cup, it is going to taste like magic. So, you (I) end up purchasing the pony cup snow cones which are not delicious at all but since you paid for them, you will force it down your mouth and remember how much more gross keg stands were in college. This is for your children, you must finish the snow cones. If you don’t finish the snow cones, you will be forced to take them into your (my) already infested minivan and you can’t afford another science project growing in the third row.
Then there are the bathroom breaks. You have to get up in the middle of it all to take your child into a vile public bathroom where you are certain that there will be an outbreak of the measles that you have subjected your child to because you gave in to that f-ing pony snow cone.
While I do feel some guilt for lying to my children, I know that I am human. There are certain memories that as a mom, I am totally okay with not sharing with them. I am also not the mom that enjoys taking them to the park or sitting on the floor and playing with Barbies or action figures. However, I am the mom that enjoys school celebrations, movie nights, cuddles, lunch dates and of course, shopping. I’m not going to like everything and I am 100% fine with that. Especially because I’m an animal activist.