7 things I do NOT want on Mother’s Day

Yes, I’m a mother.  Yes, there happens to be a day of the year that is set out to specifically celebrate having my insides exposed in an operating room and bringing life into this world but I have to openly admit all the things that I do NOT want to experience on Mother’s Day.

Here are 7 things that I do NOT want on Mother’s Day;

1. Do NOT make me breakfast.  I don’t like breakfast, serve me a good burger, doesn’t even have to be fancy, Five Guys will do or steak a potatoes, you know what?  Scratch them both, give me something good to drink (wink, wink).

2. Do NOT buy me any jewelry that has MOM stamped on it.  I don’t want your birthstones all on one piece of jewelry either, not unless you were all born in the month of April and I get a carat for each child and year.

3.  Do NOT put a tiara in my hair while I am sleeping.  Exhibit A, Mother’s Day 2014.

4.  Do NOT have a show at your school that I have to attend. Please, please, I will live a complete life if I never hear, Wind beneath my wings, again. Promise. I’ll be okay.

5.  Do NOT get me a spa certificate unless you are also booking childcare on the date of my appointment.  I have so many spa certificates that have never been used.  One day… One day…  How relaxed can I be when I am being messaged by the little people in my life because they are arguing over who farted?

6.  Do NOT wake me up early.  I’m not a regular mom. I’m a less than mom. I will not feel an ounce of guilt for not spending the first 12-14 hours of Mother’s day in my sleep. You want me to be happy?  Let me sleep for a long, long, long time.

7.  Do NOT make a fuss over Mother’s Day for me (Husband, this does not pertain to you. You get me supermarket flowers this year, you will suffer the consequences).  I’m a mother and that usually comes along with the title of being selfless. Love me, tell me I’m perfect and give me the tightest hugs that have ever existed.

Don’t forget! Today is Chosen Chix Saturday!

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For more great Mother’s Day ideas, be sure to check out my fellow Chosen Chix bloggers:

Comments

  1. Love these! All so perfect and truthful.

  2. So honest and so true! I can totally relate.

  3. A burger, fries and a tub of alcohol. Sounds good to me! Let’s do it! We can leave the kids home!

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