Darling, You Will Be A Bitch

“You will be a bitch.”  I was at least 8 years old when my dad told me that I would grow up to be a bitch one day.  WTH?  This girl’s dad told her she was going to be a bitch?  Yes, indeed he did and he was right.  My father has played a large […]

5 Fab Staycation Ideas for Spring Break

I’m cheap and I hate crowds.  This means that vacationing during my spring break is pretty much my worst nightmare.  I’m not saying that you should pull your kids out of school for a cost effective vacation, I’m just saying that I’m glad my kids have good grades (wink, wink). I’ve been in the mom […]

Pump and Dump

Crass, dirty and continuously questioning why the F your kid won’t go to sleep, that’s parenting. Oh, you thought it was all unicorns and rainbows? Well, sometimes it literally is because your kid has drawn a freaking rainbow on your nude patent leather Jimmy Choos and while parenting is also heartwarming and fulfilling most times (I’m […]

Back to School in Minted Condition

Shopping for school supplies on Back to school week is a little like shopping for Christmas gifts on December 24th.  There’s a list that must be fulfilled and a parent behind it that will do anything to get it.  I might have nose dived for the last pink butterfly soft pencil pouch.  My husband says I […]

‘Twas the Night before Preschool

‘Twas the night before preschool and all through the house was a mother stirring her margarita on the rocks. The backpack was checked and the outfit was set While images of her newborn danced in her head. Papa contemplating that it has already been three years… Mama wondering if she’ll keep her heirloom earrings in her ears! […]

Let him be a dad

There is a baby boom going on in my cohort. FINALLY!!!!!! I am so excited for my friends and friends of friends who are starting or have just started their families. I get texts, emails and phone calls from them asking me what my best advice is, which stroller I like best, how to lose […]

The Circus is in Town!

I might have lied to my children and told them I was an animal activist in order to not have to sit through the circus. The truth is, I cannot handle the experience.  Who is REALLY behind that clown make up?  Do clowns contour?  How cool is that tiger with having motorcycles riding around it? And […]

Not Guilty!

It’s one of those days.  Your kid is being particularly annoying, you just got a good glimpse of yourself in the mirror and realize that you are growing a mustache, your kitchen sink has at least 4 sippy cups in it and you have not taken a Buzzfeed quiz in at least 24 hours.  It’s […]

Smiling it Forward

First, I have to thank you for all of the brilliant questions you posted for me to present at the Smiling it Forward event today.   Dr. Aliza was so informative and took the time out to answer a few of your questions.  My mind was blown by some of the answers!  So, thank you again […]

Bend over, here come the fundraisers!

It’s that time of year again!  The time of year where your child’s school or team asks you to sell overpriced chocolate in a can in exchange for a kazoo!  What?  You don’t think a kazoo is worth selling $75 worth of canned chocolate?  Blasphemy! I understand that these sales help the organizations but seriously? A […]